Why tulips?
Posted by familysnows on 28 Jan 2007
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……
When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”
“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
Hello,
I read your posting on Why Tulips? How true it rings. As a preschool teacher of children with developmental delays, I have taught a few children who have Down Syndrome. It does change your plan, doesn’t it?
However, what joy it brings to those of us who take a part in their lives. And, as you well know, they are children first - who happen to be different. Doesn’t mean there aren’t bumps along the way!
I look forward to reading more on your blog.
Cathy
I cry every time I read this story! I just love it! It sure helps me understand how it must feel to welcome a child with down syndrome, or any other condition that is unexpected. I think a lot of people could understand the disappointment of being detoured, and trying to make the best of an “unfortunate” situation. However, what a lot of people might not understand (and what this story helps me understand), is that it’s not “unfortunate” at all. God is your tour guide, and that detour is actually a blessing, if you take the time to notice the extras; the unexpected beauty that takes your breath away. You are a wonderful family! Thank you for sharing your “trip to Holland” with all of us! I need to check your blog more often! You do a great job!